Tonight while I was on the phone with my sister-in-law, Serena, I said a few things that made her laugh and she suggested I include them in my wicked mommy moments. So here goes.
I believe a healthy dose of fear is sometimes need. My good friend Julianne opened up the idea to me. She is a FANTASTIC mom to 5 busy boys and she is anxiously awaiting the arrival of #6...a girl! She once told me that boys just think differently than girls. They don't think "hmmm, if I do that I might get hurt, or that might get broken." They think in the terms of "hmmm, I wonder what will happen if I do this. I think I'll try it." I have found that to be a true statement.
Once, while living in Washington, a group of us were on our daily walk. This usually included anywhere from 3 to 6 strollers, and 6-8 kids on bikes. We would rendevous near the end and our group would split into two, one going one way and the other the opposite direction. The kids knew that this was usually a great opportunity to play for a few minutes as the moms were busy chatting it up. One particular day the kids were waiting at the rendevous next to a strange truck with a stranger in the cab. We could see them but we were all a little nervous as we would have been too far away to stop something if anything were to happen. When we met up with the kids all the mom's started to talk to the kids about staying close, not talking to strangers, etc. But Julianne....boy oh boy did she pull out a good one. She said something like this, "Now kids, you can't talk to strangers, you never know what could happen. They might try to steal you, take you to Mexico and sale you." The look on the kids face was priceless. They didn't quite believe her but they just weren't sure. I thought I was gonna bust a gut.
I have taken a page from Julianne's book and these are the two things I told my kids tonight. They were exploring the microwave for the first time. Harmon, being the confident 6 year old newly graduated kindergartener, felt like he could operate the microwave. Harmon's nickname is Mr. Confidence, as he thinks he is capable of anything. Ella was screeching for dinner, I was on the phone (important stuff) and the boys wanted to reheat seconds of black beans and rice. I dished it up and told Harmon what to do while I went to attend to Ella. Then this is what I said, "Don't put the spoon in the microwave or you'll blow the whole thing up! Don't forget! No spoon, just your bowl!"
And the second thing happened a few minutes later when they couldn't get the microwave to run a second time. They had opened the door early and didn't know how to clear the time remaining. Rather than explain the intricacies of microwave usage I merely said, "Don't open this up until it beeps or the microwaves will burn your brain." Porter instantly put his hands upon his head.
Am I alone is tactic? I'm guessing not...it certainly has its moments of effectiveness.
I sound like a horrible mommy. I'm really not. Really...I swear!
My husband thinks that I am a bit morbid because I scare the kids by telling them crazy stories. What can I say, my mom did it to me and I do the same. It works!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite is the this one: Never ever climb into anything like a dryer, freezer or the trunk of a car. Years ago a bride dressed in her wedding gown decided to play a game with her groom. She went and hid so that he would have to come and find her to take her on the honeymoon. She climbed into her keepsake chest and closed the lid --it locked. She was never seen again. Noone knew what happened to the bride that disappeared until years later when they opened the trunk and found the decayed wedding dress and a pile of bones.
Well, the story worked because I am still here and still don't climb into things I know I can't get out of.
I remember that day! That was funny! I am that way with my kids also and tell them all kinds of scary things to keep them on the straight and narrow but now I have a son who scares himself! He got a mild sunburn yesterday at school on his arms and his neck, nothing too serious that won't go away soon. Last night he was crying that it keeps stinging and I said yes sunburns do that for a day or so and then you're fine. Then he was crying later and said every time I pull on my hair some of it comes out! (??) I said well sure so...don't pull on it!! He is crying even harder and I am frustrated and say Why do you think your hair is falling out Wyatt? And he says (crying even harder), "I think I have cancer!" He takes everything literally and stresses about it way too much so now I have to be more careful about what I say to put the fear in my kids. Darnit! I still do it to my girls though, when Wyatt isn't around!
ReplyDeleteI agree totally!!!! My sons think nothing will ever happen to them, ever. So I have to use those tactics all the time. But the other day Jayden my 9 year old was outside in our cul de sack playing night games. I was on the couch in the living room reading a book. All of a sudden I hear a loud high pitched scream. I ran to the door and looked out. All the kids were looking at me and Jayden said "I told ya" All the kids started to laugh and say "wow". I asked him later what he was doing outside. He told me he was doing an experement. He told them his Mom tells him wierd stories about there being weirdos on every street corner and if you don't stay close they could steal you and you might never come back. He told them that all he had to do was scream and I would come running and opening the door. They didn't believe him, so they tried it. I was the only mom that came running out the door. They all thought it was funny and he told them "Nobody will get stolen around here all you have to do is sream and my Mom jumps and is out the door. I can't believe she believes all those stupid stories she hears."
ReplyDeleteOh my heck. I about died laughing reading all of your stories. These are great!!
ReplyDeleteare you kidding..I think this is hilarious because it's normal!!! That's what a good mom does.. fibbing a little just for the safety of your kid..nothing wrong with that ;)
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