Three year olds (who are going to be 4 in 3 months) are great. They can get themselves dressed, feed themselves, entertain themselves, and get into trouble. They are pretty good about getting things done....except for wiping their bums. Fortunately Porter is usually a one a day man. He will go upstairs, do his deed and then holler when he needs some help. He won't expound upon what his actual needs are unless he is really getting tired of waiting, then the "MOM!!!" turns into "MOOOOOMMMM!!!!" and finally "MOOOOMMMMM I WENT POOP!!" He is relentless in trying to get my attention. Now in all fairness I must admit that sometimes I have let him wait a little long.
Today I was loading a program onto my computer and wanted to finish what I was doing. Porter kept at it, hollering at me every 2 seconds. I finally got up when I heard him say, "Ewww." Bad news. He had tried to get off the toilet and smeared a little. Not bad, but still gross. I can't blame him for wanting to get down. I cleaned him up and then the toilet. Suddenly I was struck with the same need. I hurried into my bathroom and took care of business. Only to notice that I was out of toilet paper. I yelled at Porter to go get me some toilet paper. He ignored me!! Can you believe it??!!?
I yelled, counted to 3 (what's he gonna do...i'm not going anywhere), threatened, sweettalked, you name it, I did it. He kept telling me, "But Mommy, I'm putting my clothes on." Porter is not known for his speed. That turned into this conversation:
Me: "Get me some toilet paper out of the closet."
P: Where?
Me: In the closet
P: What?
Me: GET ME SOME TOILET PAPER FROM THE CLOSET!!!
p: Where?
Repeat 5 times.
Finally he comes moseying into my bathroom with a big grin on his face. "I got you two, Mommy!"
This exchange took about 10 minutes. I kept thinking that he got back at me for all the times I have made him sit on the can while I finished what I was doing before I came and wiped his butt. Lesson learned...next time I will go quickly to his aide!
Oh Anne that is hilarious. You are so good at telling stories I could imagine this whole seqeunce of events. I laughed so much I cried. Sounds like something that would happen at my house. I love it!!
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOSH!! What can I say? I can barely type from laughing so hard! That is so funny! I bet Porter wasn't even thinking of payback it just turned out that way! Ha Ha!
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny, and RIGHT! I have been there, my 5 yr old still yells' from the toilet for me to wipe her. (she is super sensitive and gets infection soooo easily I just started doing it for her) anyways, your story has been a reality for me also :) the joy's of being a mom!
ReplyDeleteThat is too dang funny! Kids are way smarter than we give them credit for. lol
ReplyDeleteHey stranger! I was online today and reading your blog and seriously laughing out loud because while I was reading-MY three year old was on the pot yelling for me to wipe!
ReplyDeleteyour kids are adorable and I miss chatting with you. later-Jillyn
Hey it looks like you are moving on facebook. Is this true?? Let us know where you are going....I've been looking for updates.
ReplyDeleteThat is hilarious!!! That makes me excited for Tanner to be a 3 year old!
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading, I could totally relate...CJ does the same thing on the potty....I could hardly stop laughing as I got to the end of your story! I had to turn around and tell Clay the whole thing! You are so good at telling stories, I think you should write a book with all your funny incidents...thanks for the laugh...
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